


In My Time of Dying

by ShoutIntoTheVoid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Claire centric, Established Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Found Family, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, If the tags didn't tip you off, Ignoring the finale because I can, Jack Kline and Claire Novak are Siblings, M/M, Mild Blood, but its not really mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShoutIntoTheVoid/pseuds/ShoutIntoTheVoid
Summary: Claire gets hurt on a hunt gone wrong and it leads to some revelations about family.
Relationships: Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Claire Novak & Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Claire Novak
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	In My Time of Dying

**Author's Note:**

> Post-series but only the one that lives in my head where Cas gets out of the empty and becomes human and where Dean is in love and not dead!

Dean picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?” He grumbled, eyes heavy with sleep. The room was fuzzy and dark save for the neon glow of the analogue clock on his side table.

“D-Dean.” Claire gasped.

“Claire?” Dean sat up in bed, causing Cas’s sleeping form to stir next to him, “It’s,” he glanced at his alarm clock, “2:00 a.m.”

“Sorry,” she sucked in a breath, “to wake you,” _wheeze_ , “sleeping beauty.”

The jab fell flat as Dean’s slowly waking brain registered the way her breath rattled over the line, “Claire are you hurt?” 

Cas seemed to fully wake at that, sitting up and placing a hand on Dean’s back. Dean glanced over his shoulder at his sleep-rumpled ex-angel and put the phone on speaker.

After a moment of hesitation Claire exhaled, “yeah.” She breathed, quiet and ashamed, and maybe a little bit desperate. For the first time since Dean knew her, she sounded as young as she was.

“Claire where are you?” Cas asked over Dean’s shoulder.

“Nebraska,” her heavy breathing crackled against the speaker, “I’m in a- a barn off the 281 just outside H- Hastings.”

“We’re leaving now,” Dean swung off the side of the bed and Cas crawled out after him. 

“Have you called anyone?” Cas asked as he slipped on shoes, not bothering changing his sleep clothes. Dean did the same and grabbed for his keys. 

“I called you.” Claire huffed, and even through the phone, Dean could feel her eyes roll.

“Claire,” Cas’s sword-of-heaven voice began to rumble, “you know what I-“

“There’s too many bodies” the young hunter bit out. “to explain to the EMTs.” Claire gasped sharply, panic started to seep into her voice, “there were so many.” 

“Hey,” Dean said gently as he opened the driver’s side door to baby and handed his phone to Cas in the passenger seat, “hey, it’s gonna be ok. Just take a deep breath.” He turned on the ignition and the old car groaned to life, “We’re coming for you now, we’ll be there in less than an hour.”

“Dean, I can’t-” Claire had not sounded so baldly distraught since her mother died, and it made both men ache.

“What can’t you do Claire?” Cas asked, trying to maintain a calm cadence despite how hard his heart was beating.

There was no verbal response, just ragged breathing crashing against the speaker.

“Claire,” Cas tried again, “Can you tell us what happened? How are you injured?”

Another pregnant pause and then a voice responded, “I was on my way to Des Moines, passing through town when I heard of some trouble down by Hastings.” Claire took as deep a breath as she could, “It sounded like a run of the mill salt and burn, so I thought I might as well take care of it.” She coughed, “I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t’ve gone alone if I knew.”

Claire gasped, “A shapeshifter. It was taking the form of dead loved one’s to lure prey. I tracked it to its nest. I killed it, but not without a fight.” She fell silent once more.

“Claire?” Worry strained Cas’s voice.

“It turned into Jimmy.” She sobbed.

Cas and Dean shared a heartbroken glance.

Claire sniffed, “It shouldn’t have, but it caught me off guard and it stuck me with one of its claws.” She tried to take another deep breath. “I killed it.” She repeated, sounding like she wanted to reassure herself more than them.

“Where did it get you?” Dean asked with a bit more urgency, panic seeping into his voice.

“Gut.” Claire panted, “Under my belly button.”

“Is the claw still in you?” Cas asked as calmly as he could.

“No.” Claire groaned.

“Has the bleeding stopped?” Dean asked, his gentle coaxing tone wavering.

“ _No_.” Claire gasped, “I’ve been trying to apply” _gasp,_ “pressure. But I can’t.” She panted and repeated “I can’t-“ 

“Claire just hold on.” Cas tried to sooth, “We’re coming.”

“We’ll be there soon.” Dean added as he pressed harder on the gas. The road was empty and dark, and baby barreled down it like a bullet. The rough scratch of Claire’s hard breathing against the speaker was the only sound that filled the air and the surrounding silence was thick, heavy, and near paralyzing.

“Claire are you with us?” Dean tried.

The harsh breathing continued, which at least let them know she _was_ breathing.

“I love you.” She exhaled sharply.

Dean glanced over in shock to Cas.

“Claire, it’s going to be alright,” Cas tried to soothe, “you just need to stay awake.”

“I love you, dad.” She echoed.

Cas inhaled sharply and tears sprang to his eyes but did not fall.

“We- we love you too kid. Just-” Dean tried to clear the lump in his throat, “Just stay awake, okay? Claire, you need to stay awake.”

The static-y crackle of silence continued.

“I-“ Claire breathed.

And then the line went dead. 

* * *

Claire looked out over the edge of a bridge onto a creek. 

She didn’t know how she got from the dark floor of the barn to the sun-lit path before her, or how the sluggishly bleeding stab wound in her abdomen suddenly vanished, but as she drew down into the well of her own panic, she surprisingly came up empty. She was aware that she _should_ be on edge, but it was almost like that part of her brain was blocked off. In its place was an eerie calm that did not belong to her.

“Hello Claire.”

Claire turned around and came face to face with a boy. He was taller than her, with short sandy hair and familiar blue eyes. He wore a white denim jacket and a crooked smile.

She’d never met him before, but there was a pull, like a gut instinct, that told her who he was.

“Jack.” She greeted, eyes wide. She glanced around at her surroundings and suddenly it occurred to her, “Does this mean I’m dead?”

The grin on Jack’s face shifted but his expression didn’t dim.

“Not quite.” He explained, “At least, not yet.”

Claire raised a single brow, “So this is not…” she trailed off.

“Heaven?” Jack filled in, “No, it is.”

“But if I’m not dead, why am I here?” she gestured vaguely around her.

Jack grinned in a way that was almost unsettling; in a way that Claire knew was the all-knowing, all-powerful deity shining through his teenage body like a sunbeam through a cloud.

“Let’s take a walk.” he suggested and began heading off the bridge and down a path. Claire followed suite and the two went further into the woods.

“So..” Claire said as she stepped over a fallen branch.

“You aren’t dead Claire, but if I hadn’t intervened you would be.” Jack explained. “You were beginning to lose too much blood.”

“Cas and Dean were-“

“Going to be too late.” Jack frowned. “You didn’t hit anything vital but definitely vascular, and the thirty minutes it would still take for them to get to you would be time enough for you to enter stage 4 blood loss. Even if you didn’t die you would be as good as. So I put your bodily functions on pause, so to speak, until you were out of danger of certain death. Your soul couldn’t exist in that state, so I brought it here.” Jack gestured around the greenery. 

Claire knew she should be freaking out about all of this information, but she wasn’t. She felt almost sedated, like she was riding a really good high.

“So what, my soul’s in Heaven while my body’s on ‘pause?’” Claire gestured with air-quotes.

Jack’s smirk returned, “Precisely.”

“Why?” Claire’s brow furrowed. “I thought Dean said you were going to be a hands off God? This seems pretty, I don’t know, hands on?”

Jack laughed, “You’re welcome.” he teased. 

Claire flushed, “No not that I’m not grateful I’m just-“ 

“You’re right.” Jack sighed, “I am breaking my own code as we speak, although this seemed to be slightly less interference than just using my mojo to heal you good as new. I’m only giving you a better chance at survival.”

“Why?” Claire asked.

“Cas and Dean both prayed to me asking for help.” Jack shrugged.

“So you just do what they say?” Claire scoffed. Jack gave her an amused look, “Sorry,” she blushed sheepishly, “It’s just, you’re like, God right? You don’t have to listen to them.”

“I know.” Jack laughed, “but they’re my dads.”

The two continued down the path, beams of light escaping through the trees overhead. A soft breeze that smelled like campfire and maple passed through them.

“And I know you see them that way too.” Jack said pointedly.

“I don’t-“ Claire started to protest but Jack shot her a look that seemed to ask, ‘are you really trying to argue with God?’ and she closed her mouth.

“It’s ok,” Jack nodded, “I know it’s difficult to express it, but you love them the same way I do. And, they love you right back. You’re their family, and in some way we are too.”

Claire smirked, “What like you’re my brother?”

Jack gave her a toothy grin, “Yeah, sort of. I mean I wish we could have met under better circumstances, but the way Cas and Dean talked about you, I’ve considered you family for a long while.”

Claire blushed, “So,” she kicked at the leaves under her feet, “they asked you to save me?”

Jack looked down at the ground. It was strange to see God look so sheepish and childlike. Then again, he was only four years old.

“Your phone died while they were on the road talking with you.” Jack explained, “They tried to call you back a few times, and when you didn’t pick up they started to really panic. Cas thought you might have…” he gave Claire a sympathetic glance before continuing, “So, they prayed to me on your behalf and now,” Jack spread out his arms, “here we are.”

Claire nodded as she absorbed the information.

“So,” she asked, “what happens next?”

“Well,” Jack pointed a few yards ahead where a particularly large sunbeam, like a skylight, fell onto the ground, “Up ahead I’ve created a portal. When that light touches you, your soul will be returned to your body and it will officially unfreeze, although you should be completely out of the danger of dying from blood loss. If I’ve timed this right, you will wake a day later in the hospital.” Jack grimaced, “Sorry about that.”

Claire laughed, “It’s ok. Thank you for saving me.”

Jack grinned and gripped her shoulder, “We Winchesters stick together.” He pulled her into a hug, “Just, don’t make nearly dying a habit.”

Claire, who was much less embarrassed at the display of affection than she felt she ought to be, laughed. She pulled away and gave him a light punch to the forearm, “I’ll try not to lil bro.” she teased. 

Jack blushed and his smile grew. They kept walking until they were only a few feet from the portal.

“Will you do me a favor?” Jack asked.

Claire rolled her eyes, “I promised I would _try_ not to get killed, for a hunter that’s as good as you’ll get.”

“No, not that.” Jack huffed, “Will you tell Cas and Dean I miss them and that I love them too?”

Claire’s face warmed into a smile, “yeah sure thing.” She pulled him into a hug, “I wish we could have had more time to get to know each other on Earth. It would’ve been nice to have a brother.”

“You do have me.” Jack said as he pulled away, “I’m everywhere.”

Claire laughed before turning toward the portal.

“Tell Sam I said ‘hi’ and ‘I love you’ too!” Jack shouted after her.

Claire turned and gave him a thumbs up before turning back toward the portal.

“Oh, and Claire!” Jack called again.

“What?!” She called back.

“It’s okay for you to love them too!”

Claire didn’t say anything back as she walked into the light.

* * *

Cas hated hospitals, possibly more than Dean did. Now that he was human, the sounds and smells made him nauseous. For a place that was meant to be sterile, the sensory overload was overwhelming. Though, part of his uneasiness probably stemmed from the state they’d found Claire in.

Unconscious and covered in her own blood, Cas had thought Claire was dead at first. The severity of his emotional reaction had shocked the ex-angel. This was another thing about being human he was still getting the hang of. Though he would come to learn emotions deeply, even as an angel, his grace had acted as emotional padding. As it dwindled over the years, the enduring feelings like love and loss became more pronounced, but as a human without even a hint of his former angelic safeguard, everything was heightened, more acute, and felt with startling immediacy.

So far, feeling with the safety off had been thrilling. Cas had basked in the raw sensitivity of the joy of his love and blossoming romantic relationship. He’d always loved Dean with an intensity, but now he could pick up on all the nuances of human expression.

On the flip side, this situation with Claire was his first real brush with human sorrow. The harrowing depths of despair Cas’d experienced at seeing Claire so broken and the putrid mix of shock and pain still lingered, leaving the ex-angel near dizzy with it.

Dean kept shooting Cas cursory glances over the past few hours waiting in the hospital, and when they were both sat next to each other, would squeeze his hand reassuringly. ‘It will all be ok,’ he seemed to say with each touch, although Cas suspected this was for Dean’s sake as much as his own. When Dean fell asleep and his head came to rest on Cas’s shoulder, the added weight was grounding and welcome. 

But even now, with Claire out of danger of immanent death, Cas could not let go of the pain. He was supposed to protect Claire, he was meant to keep her from harm, and he failed. Cas hung his head and wrung his fists. _I failed her_ , he thought, for not the first time that hour, _this is my doing_ , _my fault_.

Suddenly, Cas was shaken from his spiraling thoughts by the sound of a low groan. His eyes flew up to the bed and met Claire’s own as they blinked open.

“Claire.” Cas breathed, a relief washing over him so powerful he felt he might drown in it. He turned to Dean who was still asleep in the chair next to him, head lolled on his shoulder, and gave his body a gentle shake, “Dean.” He said, and the other man snapped awake.

The sleep faded from his green eyes as his gaze fell onto the bed.

“Claire!” he exclaimed as he rushed to her other side opposite Cas. He leaned over her and lightly cupped her jaw.

“Hi Dean.” She croaked with a sleepy grin.

“Hey kid.” Dean lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb, “You had us scared for a minute.”

“Only a minute?” Claire deadpanned back, and Dean chuckled. She turned to where Cas was standing and held out her hand. The ex-angel walked forward and hesitantly gripped the offered palm. He pulled his chair closer so that he could sit, but did not let her go.

“Hey Castiel.” She squeezed his hand. He looked down at where their hands met on the bed.

“Claire I-“ he sniffed. Unable to find the words he squeezed her hand back.

For a moment silence fell over them, but the steady beeping of the heart monitor was too much like her harsh breaths against Dean’s phone speaker for them to withstand.

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked.

“Like I got stabbed.” Claire tried to deadpan, but when neither man laughed she kept talking, “Like I saw the ghost of my dead dad who left me. Like I’m high on morphine probably. Like I met God.”

“What?” Cas breathed.

Claire closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. She smelled campfire and maple.

“Jack saved me.” She tried to shrug but couldn’t.

“I don’t understand.” Cas looked up to Dean as if he would have some answers, but his eyes were wide with surprise.

“He heard your prayers.” Claire responded and Dean sucked in a sharp breath. “I was bleeding out too fast for you to make it in time, so he put my bodily functions on pause, at least until I was healed, and my soul went to chill with him in Heaven in the meantime. It felt like we spoke for maybe fifteen minutes tops, but I guess hours passed.” She flashed a glance at Cas, “You always said time worked differently there.”

“I had wished you and Jack would one day meet.” Cas admitted. 

Claire’s mouth twitched, “He called me his sister. Said because we shared dads we were family. He misses and loves you both by the way.”

Cas swiped at his eyes, “We miss and love him too.” 

“He knows,” she grinned. Another silence fell, a more comfortable one this time.

“Claire, before on the phone, you said something,” Cas took a deep breath, “and I thought it might have been the shapeshifter or a delusion. But-“ he sighed, “Do you know what you said?”

Claire looked up at Castiel. He had the same face as Jimmy, but there was no mistaking it was Cas. He’d gotten older, worn by the trials of the past decade, and that showed on his face. But so did the laugh-lines and creases by his eyes, all of which Cas owned, not Jimmy. Claire looked at Cas like she was seeing him for the first time, and even then it felt familiar.

Then she turned to Dean. He was equally weathering. She would joke that he was an old man, but age suited him. After stopping multiple Apacolypses, he’d earned those crows feet. 

Claire closed her eyes, “I told you that I loved you,” she said to them both, “and I called you dad.” She exhaled and took hold of Dean’s hand with her other one. She placed both of them in her lap and squeezed, “I wasn’t seeing Jimmy, although I might have been delirious from blood loss if my tongue was loose enough to say it, but Jack was right. I see you both as father figures.”

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry I don’t say it often,” She chuckled, “or ever, but I haven’t been a Novak in more than name for some time now. As much as I’m a Mills, I’m a Winchester.”

A pained whine came from Dean’s throat, like he was trying to stifle a cry.

“Claire, I know I’ll never replace your father-“ Cas began to say.

“Cas,” She cut him off, “Don’t go there.”

Castiel was suddenly reminded of another hospital bed. Of Claire’s anger and blame and hurt towards him. Of the desire to do right by her even if she wanted nothing to do with him.

Claire swiped her thumb over his knuckles. “Listen, later I will blame this on the exhaustion and whatever’s in that IV drip, but you're here for me when it counts.” She turned to Dean, “You both are.” then back to Cas, “You’re my family.”

Claire’s eyes began to droop. She blinked to try to keep them open.

“Kiddo, I think you should probably get some more rest.” Dean offered, brushing back her hair from her forehead. 

“We’ll be here when you wake up again.” Cas assured, “Jody and Kaia will likely be here by then, and Sam and Eileen are on their way too.”

Claire smiled at the picture of all the people she loved most being together. Warmth washed over her at the thought before a wave of fatigue hit her especially hard. As she began to fall back into unconsciousness she could still feel both hands in hers, like two anchors allowing her the safety to drift.

She would always have somewhere to come back to. She guessed that's what it meant to have a home. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my self-indulgent found family joint, because I need Claire and Jack to be siblings. Also before you come after me for ooc behavior, let me remind you that I have a permit and it says that Dean and Cas are allowed to be soft dads in their retirement.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
